Abram, Ido, Raising
Children After Auschwitz; 1998; Translated from a Dutch local newspaper
In Germany, a heat debate is going on: which meaning have the horrors of the
holocaust and other deeds of the nazis for us? We often said: "Never
again!" But isn't this a hollow phrase? Or does our conscience need
to remember Auschwitz?
[...] Having the five-points program given above in mind, we are able to draw up
such an outline for raising children between three and ten years of age.
Actually, it will be and 'Education after Auschwitz without Auschwitz', an
education without detailed and extreme horrors. [...] By doing so, we create the
next three-points program: [...]
Maier, Henry W., The
core of care: Essential Ingredients for the Development of Children Home and
Away from Home, In: Child Care Quarterly 8(3), Fall 1979
Recent research findings in child development are applied to pertinent issues in
child care. Child care is presented as the provision of physical comfort
together with the experience of dependability and predictability. This composite
optimally enables the child to experience a very personal care and with it, the
feeling that he or she is special. Seven ingredients are outlined, and presented
with illustrative child caring activities, as the Core of Care.
In the following pages I shall bring together some recent studies about child
development with a number of critical issues in child care. I shall try to
interweave these two spheres of learning, child development and child care.
(3) Child Love
Association Martijn, Ethical Commission, You would never want to harm a child, would you?
The Netherlands, March 2012 - Statement
"The Martijn Association advises all its members to observe the law and to act in accordance with the following guidelines. Exercise integrity in all situations involving children while respecting:
- Consent: the consent of both in every contact.
- Freedom: freedom for the child to end the contact if desired.
- Harmony: acting in accordance with the child’s development.
- Openness: openness towards the parents, especially in the case of young children."
Constantine, L., The effects
of early sexual experiences: A review and synthesis of research, from: Constantine &
Martinson (eds), Children and sex, Boston, Paper, Montreal, 1979. [External
Extein, Andrew, "Apparently, I am a
Pedophile"; Living and Coping as a Child-Lover in the
Netherlands; Fall 2005; Academic Advisor: Frans Gieles,
Academic Director: Kevin Connors; School for International Training;
Sexuality, Gender, and Identity; Amsterdam, The Netherlands
child-lovers in the Netherlands express, understand, experience, and cope with
I have conducted interviews with six
self-identified child-lovers to help me answer this question.
In a bird’s-eye view, I can say that my assumption that sexuality should be
the central desire of child-lovers appeared to be not true, at least for
my sample. I want to plea for the use of correct and neutral terms to describe
child-love, especially to make a difference between feelings (pedophilia) and
acts (like pedosexuality). It became clear that society and even
professionals have a lot of misconceptions about this topic. So, all the men of
my sample had to cope with their feelings, a process of several years. All
succeeded, mostly by educating themselves and one another about the
nature of their feelings they have to live with. I may say that it is my strong
impression that all of them are able to live with their feelings in a
constructive, positive, and healthy way.
Howitt, Dennis, The
Paedophile Demonology; From: Paedophiles
and Sexual Offences Against Children, John Wiley & Sons, New York
e.a. 1996, Chapter 8
Paedophiles have a role in modern demonology alongside nefarious others such as
joyriders, drug users, illegal immigrants and pornographers. Their creation
as such is not new, but only in the latter part of the twentieth century did
their evilness significantly enter professional lore. This was not a
function of ignorance since there was sufficient data available to establish
sexual abuse as a common feature of childhood. [...]
So instead of a client-orientated
ethos, psychotherapy is turned on its head when applied to sex offenders. [...]
The rapid change in our understanding of the paedophile is characteristic of the
modern period but largely tied to the ascendency of wider ideologies than to
psychological or social scientific developments.
Koning, Petra de,
Schools react cramped to abuse incidents -
No goodnight kiss; translated from: NRC 24 October 1998
Behavior codes, protocols, rules about taking a child on your lap. Teachers try
to protect themselves against suspicions. They are afraid. It is difficult for
them to recognize child sexual abuse.
Kort, Huib, Demons
The Utopian Dream of Safety
; Huib Kort, in cooperation with G. G.; In: KOINOS
Magazine # 27
Society is faced with huge problems: needless violence, criminal refugees, and
sex criminals who rape children. These appear to be separate problems calling
for separate solutions. But one has to question whether they are really
unconnected problems, indeed, whether these are problems at all. The actual
problem is broader, more general, and is rooted deeply in the whole of society.
Pointing out scapegoats as an excuse for a failing society is a well-known and
apparently still successful way to exercise the law of the jungle.
Fear of touching hits also students and patients;
De Volkskrant, 29 oktober 1998
Because of the growing attention to sexual abuse, more and more teachers and
professional helpers suffer of 'fear of touching'. Marijke Lammers sounds a
warning note not to make more and more severe rules. By so doing, the problem
will be hidden, not resolved.
We're here. We're sexual. GET USED TO IT; Color Lines, May-June 2008.
former-president Bill Clinton and escalating under President George W. Bush,
more than $1.5 billion in federal and state money has been poured into
abstinence-only education. [...]
Numerous studies have proven it to be ineffective, even harmful.
A fundamental attribution error? Rethinking cognitive distortions
The notion of ‘cognitive
distortion’ has become enshrined in the offender treatment
literature over the last 20 years, yet the concept still suffers from
a lack of deﬁnitional clarity.
Treatment programmes for offenders often aim to eliminate
excuse-making as a primary aim, and decision-makers place great weight
on the degree to which an offender “takes responsibility” for his
or her offending.
Yet, the relationship between these after-the-fact explanations and
future crime is not at all clear. Indeed, the designation of post hoc
excuses as criminogenic may itself be an example of fallacious
Nicolaï, N.J., The Consequences of Sexual Abuse of Minors - On behalf of the Commission for Examination of Sexual Abuse of Minors in the Roman-Catholic Church [* in the Netherlands]; In: Rapport Commissie Deetman, Balans, 2011, Part 2. Summary and conclusions in English by Frans E J Gieles, PhD.
In this essay, sexual abuse is, conform the scientific and juridical mores, defined as "... sexual-genital manipulation of a child below the age of sixteen, by an adult of whom the child is dependent or with whom he or she has a relationship of confidence, with the aim of satisfaction of the sexual need of the first. [...] There is an age difference, and/or a difference in power, by which the child is not able to refuse the sexual contact, which is not consensual."
Research of the later consequences of sexual abuse is done in three phases or generations of research.
The most recent research explores what has appeared to be the most central factor: disturbance of the stress regulation.
There is consensus about harm for the physical and emotional health, especially the attachment and sexuality, even if the consequences are invisible at first sight. They are just like a time bomb, that explodes as soon as, in adulthood, the impact of the events becomes significant.
Randall, John L., From
Bad Language to Crooked Thinking - Chapter 1 from Childhood and
Sexuality, A Radical Christian Approach, Dorrance Publishing Co. Inc.,
Pittsburg, Pa., 1992
In the field of human sexuality the words we use reveal very plainly the
deep-seated attitudes of our culture. We live in a society which is
strongly negative toward sex. This may seem a surprising comment to some
readers, especially since the 1960s and 1970s were supposed to have ushered in a
more enlightened age. Yet despite the very real changes which occurred during
that period, our underlying attitudes remain basically negative.
Ree, Frank van, Intimate
relationships between young people and adults - Are there criteria for a
positive experience? KOINOS MAGAZINE #24 (1999/4)
Both sexual abuse of children and consensual love relationships between young
people and adults are found in all cultures and in all periods of history.
Although research statistics show otherwise, at present the notion has taken
hold in many countries that a difference in age inevitably results in damaging
consequences. Some time ago, an extensive exchange of ideas took place in the
newsletter published by the National Workgroup JORis (Younger-Older
Relationships, intimacy, sexuality) of the Dutch Association for Sexual Reform (NVSH),
about the criteria which an intimate relationship with a young person must meet
in order to preclude harm at a later age, based on positions which had been
formulated earlier by the Danish Pedophile Association. Remedial educationalist
Dr. Frans Gieles took the position in this discussion that in the present
situation adults should act with restraint in pedophile and ephebophile
relationships, because they bear the responsibility also for the damage which
social rejection (whether or not after the fact) can bring about. We asked the
retired Dutch psychiatrist Dr. Frank van Ree about his view of this. Dr. Van Ree
has written many publications and doesn't shy away from taking an independent
position. As this article shows, he has passed on this way of thinking to his
children as well.
Rind, B., Bauserman, R. &
Tromovitch, Ph., An examination of assumed properties of child sexual abuse
based on nonclinical samples, Paper presented at Rotterdam, The Netherlands, December 18,
Rind, B., Tromovitch, Ph. &
A Meta-Analytic Examination of Assumed Properties of Child Sexual Abuse
Using College Samples, in: Psychological Bulletin 1998, Vol 124, No 1, pp 22-53.
Thomson, Alice, Sex
education: why the British should go Dutch; The Times (UK), November
Britain's Schools Minister plans to
introduce sex lessons for five-year-olds. They already have them in the
Netherlands. Is that why they also have the lowest teenage pregnancy
rate in Europe?
Warner, Judith, The
Myth of Lost Innocence; The New York Times, January 29, 2009.
Two sociologists in Philadelphia,
Kathleen A. Bogle, of La Salle University, and Maria Kefalas, of St.
Joseph’s University, both specialists in teen sexual behavior, told
Parker-Pope that they’d had to struggle mightily to get people out
of their “moral panic” mindset, and make them understand that
teens are not “in a downward spiral” or “out of control.” - “They just don’t believe you.
You might as well be telling them the earth is flat,” Kefalas told
me when I called to follow up with her this week.
Westcott, Kathryn, Why are Dutch children so happy?
BBC News website, Feb 14, 2007.
Dutch children have been rated the most fortunate children in Europe
[according to a Unicef report].
"Much of this [...] comes from the relationship that Dutch parents
have with their children. And, from the fact that less pressure is put on them at school."